I received a number of messages when I pulished my last blog about broken hearts. I realized so many hearts are broken nowadays. In my life, I have experienced a number of rejections in school, relationships, jobs. In each rejection, I have two things with me, tissues and trust issues. What I will share here are things I am learning myself. Thank God for this amazing book!
Uninvited is one of the books that will stay in my little library forever. It spoke so intimately to my heart. Lysa TerKeurst has explored the messy parts of relationships and how to live loved despite the messes.
- Rejection could be an invitation to live in expectation of something else.
In brokenness, there are two responses we can choose from: build bridges or build walls. My default response is the latter. It’s safer. Trust Issues whisper these words to your heart : Walk away early so you don’t have to suffer the pain of them falling away later. Lysa writes, “Some call that protecting yourself. But I knew in my case it was called letting past hurts hurt me all over again.” The default response of the heart is to resist new roads, new friendships and new relationships. “If we aren’t careful, being resistant can easily turn into being rebellious against divine opportunities.” Ouch.
Lysa encourages, “Today’s disappointment is making room for tomorrow’s appointment.” Rejection’s goal is to stop you right where you are and keep you from moving forward.
Your past relationships, your job and position may not be back to its former beauty but there is beauty ahead that we will not see if we keep looking back. I remember Philippians 3:13 “But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead.”
Instead of resisting, rely on the One who has loved you perfectly and try again. This time around, try and step into the unknown with eyes focused on His love. Good or bad, you can trust Him. He offers an extravagant love you can rely on. A heart you can trust. A future you can take a hold of.
2. There’s usually an element of protection in every rejection.
“In His mercy, He allowed this. It was a mercy ruin. It’s easy to focus on the ruin, but look for His mercy in the midst of it.”
We may not understand the situation but we understand His goodness. Thank Him for the protection that’s part of the rejection even when we can’t see it.
When I talk with people who were rejected and renounced by people they love or look up to, what they tell me are along the lines of I trusted him. I loved her. I thought I meant something to him. I thought she wanted me.
It hurts. It’s hard. But God has never wasted pain and He has a good reason for allowing it. When we make peace with that, let us recognize the reality of rejection. Each rejection leaves a sting.
“[Those] who have the lingering whispers of rejection still echoing in the hollow of their soul rarely feel completely held safe.” So true. Somehow it’s like walking on tightrope, there is a need to perform and walk straight. A lack thereof will lead to another fall. But God in His fullness, there is no lack. “Nothing can be added or subtracted with human acceptance or rejection. With the fullness of God, we are free to let humans be humans – fickle and fragile and forgetful.”
When words are given but actions don’t back it up, it hurts to the core but let us give allowances to each other. Let us accept each other’s humanity. Apostle Paul admonishes in Colossians 3:13, “Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.” We are imperfect and each time we extend allowance to those who hurt us, we love and we recognize our mutual humanity.
Love inspite of the faults.
Love even when you are left out.
Love because you are loved.
“Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” John 13:34
3. Let this breaking be the making of you.
Lysa accurately describes rejection this way: “Rejection steals the best of who I am by reinforcing the worst of what’s been said to me.” No popularity, no relationship, no position can secure your heart. Nothing can fix our issues and insecurities apart from the redemptive love of God.
“Hold fast to Jesus and remember: This breaking of you will be the making of you. A new you. A stronger you. Strengthened not with the pride of perfection but with the sweet grace of one who knows an intimate closeness with her Lord.”
He was never hesitant to seek you and love you. All we need to do is to receive his free gift and be redeemed by His strong love for us.
“Rejection never has the final say. Rejection may be a delay or distraction or even a devastation for a season. But it’s never a final destination. I’m destined for a love that can’t ever be diminished, tarnished, shaken or taken. With You, Jesus, I’m forever safe. I’m forever accepted. I’m forever held. Completely loved and always invited in.”