February 14 is just a few days away. Some call it Valentines Day, the others Singles Awareness Day. However you call it, it’s a day about hearts. Hearts that are in love, hearts that are content and hearts that are broken.
Any day of the year, hearts are broken when a lover leaves, a friend betrays, a colleague accuses, a parent abandons… The list goes on and on. My husband and I are no strangers to broken hearts. In his line of work, he listens to the broken. We too have our share of brokenness.
We learned that in brokenness, people have different responses. Some sweep it under the rug. Some weep over it. Some keep it inside. People have different ways of coping with a broken heart. Whatever their way may be, brokenness can lead to the Healer. I like how C.S. Lewis puts it, “God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pains.” Here are a few of the many things God revealed to me when my heart was broken.
1. It wasn’t all bad.
Chances are, the reason why your heart is broken was because it was good. It was, at one time, beautiful. Beautiful memories are torment to a broken heart. You don’t know how something that beautiful can become something awful. God reminded me of this verse:
“Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:18
Instead of letting the memories torment you, thank God for them. I know it’s difficult. But in every relationship, you have grown, you have learned something valuable. Thank God for the memories. Thank God that He let your paths cross. Thank God for the lessons. Thank God for the season. Thank God.
2. It’s time to get up.
After Jesus died, he appeared to his disciples. The disciples weren’t out rallying Christ’s cause in the streets. They went back to what they did before Jesus called them. I can imagine them sad and downcast. They just lost the One who inspired them and who loved them most. Scriptures said that they fished all night but caught nothing. It’s possible that they skipped meals. Much like broken-hearted people who lock up their rooms and don’t eat. A man called from the shore. It was Jesus.
‘Jesus said, “Come and eat!” But none of the disciples dared ask who he was. They knew he was the Lord.’ John 21:12
That’s what God is telling you now: Come and eat. Come to Him broken. Get up. Don’t stay in your room and let lies fill your mind and depress you. Failure. Shame. Pain. Get up but don’t get up for the world to see.
In his book Why Is This Happening to Me, Wayne Monbleau said this frankly, “It would be wonderful if folks would applaud you when you get back up. Unfortunately though, you have to accept the distinct possibility that no one will applaud when you get back up.” Monbleau encourages, “Don’t get stuck in the fall. Rise again. Disregard the judgment of others. Rise again. Rise again in the righteousness of Christ, who calls you to eat that failure and let it become life to you. Accept the fall and believe against all belief that God intends to work it for good in your life and in the lives of others.”
I remember counseling a woman whose heart was broken. She said she wants her ex-boyfriend to see what he lost. I encouraged her not to look at what his reaction will be. It will be very frustrating to see that the person you are aiming to please has blindly moved on and was unaware of your comeback. Instead of looking at him or her, focus on the One who has never stopped loving you.
3. It’s not a waste.
One of my mother’s fond memories of my late grandfather Lolo Tiags was when they were in front of his fields. He said that when the fields are gold, it’s time for harvest. If you have ever planted anything, you know the fields don’t just turn gold in an instant. Something has to break to grow.
Ann Voskamp says it beautifully. “For a seed to come fully into its own, it must become wholly undone. The shell must break open, its insides must come out, and everything must change. If you didn’t understand what life looks like, you might mistake it for complete destruction.”
Isn’t that how we feel when our hearts are broken? Complete destruction? But only through that can you grow and blossom. In God, pain is not wasted.
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28
It may not make sense for now but one day it will. And with Him, all things will turn out right.
You may be broken now, but you are forever beloved.
Come to the One who has never stopped loving you.