Being a mother is costly. Not because of the many baby gears you need to buy for your baby but because of the personal sacrifice a mother gives. A mom puts a lot of things on hold to care for the little one growing in her arms. A seasoned mom called it ‘lag time,’ a momentary pause in everything a mom does.
There are a lot of things that I want to do but can’t because I am caring for my little ones – a toddler and a newborn. There are times when I am tempted to self-pity, to look down on myself in this season, to think my time is wasted.
It is a challenge to rise above any feeling of defeat. Everytime I sit and pray to Jesus, I ask Him to help me see this season through Heaven’s eyes.
It’s just a season.
In one prayer meeting, I had a blank stare. My soul was ready for worship but my body was not. I was so tired. It was just weeks since we moved to Katipunan and piles of laundry took the best of my strength that day. When the pastor asked to get a partner to pray, Ate Junet sat beside me and prayed for me. She said, “I know it’s tiring but it’s just a season. One day you’ll look back and miss it.” I went home that night and looked at Macy’s feet. They’re not as tiny as before. I know that one day, I’ll look at the same feet and find them bigger and her nails polished. Time flies fast. And I want to make the best of this time I’m given.
From time to time, I meet a mom who tells me they miss having little ones. They even say that my season now is their favorite. I took a time alone and went to a mall one time. From a distance, I looked at young families like ours – amateur parents with little ones.
It’s really beautiful. This season that I’m in.
My Masters degree, ministry, dreams… they all have to wait. Because the truth is, they can wait. But these little ones can’t. They will only be little once. And I don’t want to miss it. For the sleepless nights and body pains that comes with this season, I know His grace is sufficient for me.
It is worth it.
One heroine of faith that helped me in my season now is Amy Carmichael. She was a missionary to India. She was never married but she was every bit of a mother to orphans in India. She said, “The Master never wastes the servant’s time.” How true.
Whatever I learn in this season, I will use in the next.
Whatever I do in this season affects the next.
I don’t know what the next season will look like. Will I homeschool? Will I continue my Masters Degree? Will I serve in a ministry again? I don’t know but God does. And in all things He looks at the attitude of my heart. I want Him to find me faithful in my season now.
For stay-at-home moms like me, Steven Furtick beautifully puts it this way,
“God may lead you to stay at home with your young children, forfeiting a second income. Ordinary. But along with diapers, dishes, and naps, you receive the gift of time – to model discipline, instill values, and speak life into your kids. They could grow up to be Joshua’s in their own generation. Extraordinary.”
Faithfulness. Be faithful in whatever season He’s called you to.
It is a big thing.
In A Chance to Die, Elisabeth Elliot quotes Amy Carmichael, “…if the Lord of Glory took a towel and knelt on the floor to wash the dusty feet of His disciples, then no work, even the relentless and often messy routine of caring for squalling babies, is demeaning.
To offer it up to the Lord of Glory transforms it into a holy task.‘
It is not the business of the servant to decide which work is great, which is small, which important or unimportant – he is not greater than his master.”
This is my assignment. My assignment with lots of ‘home’ work. I shouldn’t fear missing out, what I should fear is not being in His will. His good, pleasing and perfect will. The will of God may not look grand to the world. Sometimes His will is the less seen, more humbling, more difficult things.
My assignment is not lesser than going to the mission field, inspiring hundreds onstage or teaching college students. I get to raise, teach and inspire two lovely girls who will one day make a difference.
If you are in the will of God, whatever you do is a big thing.
In India where Amy Carmichael served, they say that children tie their mother’s feet. A mother can’t do much when she has little ones. In light of this she said, “We could not be too careful of our children’s earliest years. So we let our feet be tied for love of Him whose feet were pierced.”