I do not have a reason to question God, I can always ask, but not question. His ways are way higher than mine and I’m glad He’s God. I do not understand everything, I’m not even sure why some things happen… but I know everything is well taken care of by my Father in heaven and everything works out for my good (Romans 8:28).
One of the times when my trust in God was really tested was when he asked me to let go of something very dear to my heart. I can’t understand why He wanted me to do that, it’s not like I’m in harm, I think it was even good.
Why, that was the question of my vulnerable heart that night. It was the one word that bothered me for days. He did not answer me or at least I did not want to listen to Him. I didn’t want to talk to Him for days, I did my quiet time but it was unfruitful, my mind was learning the message, my heart didn’t want any of it. And then before I slept one night, he flashed before me moments of my life… some ‘downs’ of my life and how He made it well, how His plan worked out, how He made me grow… I sighed and told Him, “You really love me, don’t You?” I smiled through my teary eyes. I do not know what exactly happened that night before I closed my eyes but I know He was beside me, He was hugging me, telling me, “Everything is gonna be alright. I’m just here with you.”
Slowly, gently, He’s telling me the reason why He asked me to let go and let Him. When He said that He already came before me, He meant that He knows what’s going to happen. I don’t know what harm a ‘good’ thing might have given but I know that I was just saved from all those. I know that He knows what He’s doing. I may not understand everything now but in time I will, He assured me.
My brother-in-Christ Philip reminded me of Moses, whom God commanded to throw his beloved staff on the ground and it became a serpent. Then the God of Israel commanded him to take it by its tail and lo, it became a staff again. That’s a picture of what God was doing to me. He takes it… makes me realize that what I’m holding on to can turn to a serpent anytime. I may not see it now but He loves me so much that He wants me to be hurt now so that I can let go before it’s too late. God is worth praising for that.
“And the Lord gave twice as much as he had before,” Job 42:10 (ESV) reads. He’ll make a way for His good, pleasing and perfect plan to unfold, none of His plans can be thwarted (Job 42:2). I’m looking forward to it… and I am soooo excited and I just can’t hide it <hehe>. The Lord whom we serve is a very great God, Almighty that what You give to Him in reverence, love and obedience, He will return a hundredfold, maybe even a thousandfold. That’s how great He is! And that’s why I really do not have a reason to question Him for then again, our great God’s ways are higher than mine. I’m glad for this is so.
He’s inking another page of my book. I’m so excited for the next chapter… I am so excited for His plan to unfold in my life. I want to know what’s next in this wonderful story, my life, our journey… and during this time of wondering and waiting, here and now becomes sweeter and sweeter…
Sep 28, ’07 9:59 PM