FAITH

2:34

It was exactly 2:34 a.m., twentieth of March. My cellphone beamed the time and I can’t help but be upset for an interrupted sleep. Got an exam exactly seven hours and thirty minutes from that very moment. It had been desert for me the past few days and sleeping is one of my million ways of escaping.Lord, please…I need to sleep…I begged him to drug me to sleep once more but to no avail. I tried my best to sleep, counted sheep and recited all the conjugations of difficult French verbs. As I slowly drowsed, I felt him His nudge to do the thing that I always do whenever I wake up during the wee hours of the morning…do as young Samuel did: inquire of the Lord and be expectant of His words. I succumbed to Him and  uttered what young Samuel did, “Speak, Lord, I’m listening. Your servant is listening, Lord.”

 

C’est Moi et toi ce soir.

 

French…oh, please, I know I got an exam. I reviewed na. Don’t worry.

 

C’est Moi et toi ce soir.

 

Lord, come on…tell me and then let me sleep

 

C’est Moi et toi ce soir

 

Lord, is that You? Is it really You telling me this – C’est Moi et toi ce soir (It’s Me and you tonight.).

 

Surely the past few days were full of darkness for me, it was night, no sight of a new day can be glimpsed… I got no plans for the coming days. I hurt some people indefinitely, people whom mattered a lot to me and they left…for good…never coming back. And to make things worse, thesis was exhausting me. Physically ill. Emotionally broken. Spiritually thirsty. He said it again…

 

C’est Moi et toi ce soir…He reassured me of who He is and who I am in Him…Remember who you are, He said. Never forget who you are. Oh my, this is exactly what I forgot all along…who I am in Him. I let the Enemy rob me of my joy, rob me of my royalty. I forgot I mattered to the God of the Universe.

 

All I can do was cry. I’m trying to handle things on my own. I tell myself, “Come on, Joei. This is your fault anyway. You pay for what you did.” So I let the days go by, praying but not abandoning everything to Him…because it’s my fault (that’s the very thing the Enemy wants me to dwell on), but that wasn’t what He woke me up for at two thirty-four.

 

I care, He said. It was always what He tells me whenever I look atOUR star… the North Star. It’s the only star that does not move, doesn’t fail to twinkle, always in the same spot. Constancy. No matter how many people leave me, no matter how much I’ve been hurt…He’s there…He’ll never leave me. He understands my pain, my shame and everything wrong that goes with it.

 

It’s true. C’est Moi et toi ce soir…it’s just Him and me tonight…and I’m so glad. The coming days were not red letter, nothing got better. To be honest, things got worse…but I was assured. I have Him anyway. No matter what happens, no matter what the future holds, no matter how dark the unknown may be…He’s there…C’est Moi et toi ce soir.


If He’ll be telling me how much He really loves me, who cares if He’ll wake me up in the wee hours of the morning…it’s always worth waking up for… even at 2:34.

Apr 6, ’09 9:42 AM
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2 thoughts on “2:34”

  1. Hi Ms. Joie, I was able to watch MMK last Saturday and a friend of mine name Iya searched for your blogs..this one inspires me (two palang naman nababasa ko hehehe)… I pray I could be an encouragement and inspiration to others also through words, pen and paper. enjoy God’s abundant blessings ^_^

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